God it is me again. I have been thinking. And it drove me to the need to talk to you. I think…well…I know to some degree we have had some conversations in the past that have not really been conversations. Like that time I was rushing to get out the door and I knelt down and rambled off a few words of what I thought you might want to hear instead of saying what I really wanted to say. Or that time when I told you about the day almost in a manner of regurgitation without meditation and certainly no conversation.
I have resolved that my conversation with you has been off because I feel that you really are not listening. And then you spoke and said that I really have not been talking. I’ve filled my mouth with adjectives and nouns but have not taking time to really say something that matters. I have lifted up everyone else but have come short of talking about where I am. I have talked about all that I have done wrong but left nothing for your grace of what you want me to do. I have spoken right and then left no pause to listen to your response.
I intend to stand in front of you differently. I want to talk to you. And I want to believe that you have every intention of doing something about everything that is a concern. So that I will start asking you for things that go beyond my perception, and start thanking you for the things that have happened that are ‘impossible.’ And our conversation is exactly that: I believe you are listening, and you know that what I say is what really matters.