>The last few months have been a bit of a conglomeration of lessons mixed in the same pot. Some cooking is a bit convoluted until the food simmers for a few hours. My life is not yet reached the simmering point and its a bit irritating for me. Not because I need to be in control (that is a battle I still fight but have long sense given up attempting to win.) Its the paradox now of having embraced the syncopated rhythm of life and now God seems to have taken me back to standard count (for you marching or jazz band folks.) I had grown accustomed to things being a bit chaotic and now that things are ‘normal’ its a bit unnerving.
So my rhythm is off. I sense it has been for some time. God has a good will and desire of using little tokens to remind us that even thought we do not see him, he is still at work crunching all the numbers that really matter. Its more often in my life where I tend to be alone in my thoughts and ponderings that he sends some folks to join in the journey for a few lengths to let me know everything is going to be alright.
I had been running so long that when I looked up I realized that the result is not exactly where I had hoped I would be. Started to wonder perhaps maybe I had missed a stop somewhere and the bus had moved on without me.
Ministry will do that. I’m not talking about as a pastor alone; those are obvious. I am referring to taking care of your family. Watching your parents get older. Letting go of old friends/pasts. Learning to love. Longing to love better. Letting go of hopes that may never come. Embracing new friends. Embracing old friends in a way that is better. Watching your kids grow up and realize the danger of them thinking they are independent. You’ll start to think that the efforts are so far from the mark, yet there is not much more you have the capability of doing better.
From time to time God sends some people along to Remind You What Really Matters. I have the distinct privilege of some great leaders and friends who are standing in a gap while I try to understand what this gap is. People stepping up to the challenge of leading small groups, taking care of responsibilities while I attempt to serve in multiple capacities, people who keep saying the right things at the right time. People who look past past me and see something only God could do through me. Cheerleaders I call them. And not catchy catch phrases, but ones who are saying words that have meaning.
Thank you. For being there. For the unity in the Gospel. For allowing me the privilege of calling you a wife, a friend, a help, an encourager, a brother a sister, and I love you. They say I write deep but that is not my intent. I just tend to think hard about things and why they matter. If it were not for the Cross I am quite certain that I would not appreciate you all the way I have been able to. And like wise because you were sent to Remind Me what Really Matters I am reminded of how important the cross is. And for that I am eternally grateful.