I had tried to pass the website on to some more able bodied people to take it to another level…or somewhere else. To be (semi-) perfectly honest I wanted to be through writing. Some of it is the plaguing proverbial glass ceiling I seem to have reached where I don’t feel as though my style and manner of presentation will improve. The other side is the blog was cathartic for me. All it takes is a few things to become unresolved and the whole platform you stand on begins to feel unsettled.
I’m beginning to embrace my own truths. Some things in this life will be unresolved until everything is put back into its proper place. And while this fact seems to create dispair, the Gospel is still truth: God does hold everything together through Christ. It is just that we will not get to see that until the consummation of all things.
I do not enjoy unresolved things. Reminds me of too many things I watched as a child. And when they occur as I get older they affirm certain philosophies I had hoped were not true. But perhaps the pause button on time is what teaches us how important words like perseverance, endurance, sacrifice and love really mean. They are not less true when life goes unresolved, rather the length of time till the consummation shows how valid perseverance and sacrifice and love really are.
Some have been there telling me to keep writing. And then I had a few kairos moments and had to make a decision what to do. So reluctantly… I’ll be writing something. To whom? I’m not sure anymore. For what benefit. Only God knows. I tell my mentees that writing is disciplined thought. This is probably sufficient motivation for me to keep writing for now.
I had contemplated a book about chasing rabbits in life and the danger in that notion. But its unresolved for me because I do not like the conclusion I had drawn and I have not found an answer to the antithesis of when what do you do when things; incredible underserved things come toward you. There may be some discussion on the blog in the future.
I’m still hoping to pass this off (or anything for that matter for once) successfully. Passing to others who will go further and be more fruitful than I could hope to be. Its frustrating when you see the church as your only family because it is just not fun advancing and succeeding by yourself. I mean I’d like to embrace a ‘just me an mine; my immediate family’ perspective but there is too much blood on that cross and I have not been able to get over that. I digress..
All the able body writers are dodging my phone calls. Rude…
In the interim look for an occasional something from me on the website. For those who are following I hope it may be useful.